Zohran Wins Democratic Primary Despite Democratic Party’s Best Efforts

News

REPORT: Young Woman Unfamiliar With Hope

“I’m well acquainted with your run-of-the-mill negative emotions like sadness, despair, and disbelief.”

News

Woman Unfamiliar With Positive Political News Throws Computer Out of Habit

“How do people process positive news?”

News

Woman Apologizes to Dead Bug as if Her Guilt Will Purify Her

“She apologized, but the spider was too dead to notice.”

Womanspiration

Woah! This Woman’s Jean Shorts Are So Long They’re Actually Just Jeans

She has taken to calling them “jants,” a portmanteau of “jean pants.”

Living

Uh Oh! Friend Scrolling Through Your Photos Getting Dangerously Close to the Ones You Took to See if You Are Symmetrical

Stop!!

Style

Woman Emerges From Thrifting Haze to Discover She Purchased a 19th Century Bathing Dress

“It seemed like a perfect wardrobe staple at the time.”

Womanspiration

Aw! Man Refers to Platonic Soulmate as ‘a Buddy of Mine’

How beautiful!

News

Awkward! Best Friend Just Referred to You as Her Coworker

“Take a stake and drive it through my heart, why don’t you?”

Style

QUIZ: Are You Pulling Off This Look or Can Everyone Tell You’re Wearing Shorts for the First Time?

“The shape of my calves is a secret kept between me and god.”

Living

Woman Rewarded for Time Spent in Waiting Room With More Time Waiting in Exam Room

“I don’t even have any snacks. I’ll probably die here.”

News

How Times Change! 30-Year-Old Woman Would Actually Be Really Excited to Receive an Edible Arrangement

How the years fly by!

Living

How to Stay at a Friend’s House Without Apologizing the Whole Time

Remind yourself that it’s actually more annoying to apologize a bunch.

Living

Man Aims to Get Couch in Next Couple of Years

“Yeah, like, I’m hoping it happens.”

News

Woman in Desperate Need of Therapist Who Can Slap Her

“I need my therapist to stop this destructive downward spiral by hitting me in the face.”

News

Entire Trajectory of Woman’s Life Changed by Singular Good Bowel Movement

“It was so good I finally found the energy to apply to my dream job.”

News

Lack of Car Not Deterring Woman From Taking Free Bumper Sticker

“I love feeling part of something!”

Living

QUIZ: Is It Long Covid or Stupid Brain?

6 times 8 is 48. True or false.

Entertainment

QUIZ: Can This Singer-songwriter Get Away With Having a Bad Voice or Are They a Woman?

Would you say the fact that their voice is bad “highlights how down-to-earth they are?”

News

Facebook Marketplace Interaction 20% About Furniture, 80% About Desire to Be Chased

It’s about feeding the deep psychological desire to be sought after.

News

Woman Entering Grocery Store Loses Capacity to Plan More Than Two Meals Ahead

“I guess for lunch I’ll have corn?”

Living

Spring Cleaning! Donation Pile Dutifully Moved From Corner of Bedroom to Living Room

She’s moving the pile out of her own space and into everyone else’s space.

News

Prayers of Millions Powerless to Protect Pope Against 17 Minutes With J.D. Vance

Thoughts

Look, It’s Up to El Salvador if They Want to Fix Our Indisputably Evil Fuckup

Sorry, did I say fuckup? I meant victory.

News

REPORT: Boyfriend Stuck in Duvet Cover

“He told me he had this ‘special way’ to put a duvet cover back on.”

	
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